And some news I've had a hard time dealing with, let alone put into words... As some of you reading this may know, my kennel suffered a devastating loss October 28th with the loss of my girl Lexi. It was a huge personal blow and the past couple months have been an incredibly rough ride. Lexi was somewhat of an incorrigible "puppy" but matured into a dream "dog" whom I adored and loved deeply. When I decided to return to the breed, Lex was my first. She was my "everything" dog. She, early on as a young pup, was the one who reminded me the reasons I so love the breed. She was my bed dog, my farm dog and my reader of the mind dog. Lexi was my solid as a rock dog and it was heart wrenching to watch her energy and spirit fade in front of me and know there was nothing I could do. There was a trial of fluids to flush her system and her Vet who upon first seeing her said, "I wouldn't give up without trying". But while she continued on with her job that couldn't wait, I think the realization hit her. A realization I knew well in advance, simply by watching Lex throughout the course of the afternoon. Since my loss, I've found it very difficult to visit my website. And out of respect for Lexi, I'm feeling guilty for not updating in a timely fashion. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the unfinished business left to do. But where to start....? there is simply so much to do and much of what needs doing will be extremely painful. Each page needs to be looked at and updated where appropriate. I need to remove some entries and rearrange others. The first month, when I'd think of writing a memorial or tribute, I literally couldn't see through the tears nor could I speak of Lex without sobbing. I've got a couple months of healing behind me now, have gained back some strength and I think I'm nearly ready to write her tribute and face the task, way earlier than I ever expected, of creating a memorial page. In gaining the ability to believe I can tackle these things, I feel like I'm finally entering the healing phase. While I work on things, Lexi's page may be hidden for a time but it will be here... always. GMBD's began with Lexi and Lex will forever be a part of it. More importantly, she will always hold a very special spot in my heart.
News I forgot to mention... Remedy earned her Canine Good Citizen last week. We got the ribbon but need to send away for the actual certificate so I decided to post her accomplishment today. By the time we actually receive the certificate it will be old news and hopefully she'll be well on her way to her CGCA. It's back to school for both Remedy and Ritz this week. Ritz had her first class today, did well and we like our instructor. My newest addition, who I'm not quite ready to officially introduce, will be attending too. Getka, is enrolled in Puppy Kindergarten... good fun and socialization for any pup and helps to set the stage for future learning. Ritz will be attending basic obedience and Remedy will repeat basic. Unfortunately, I've never been able to enroll any of my dogs in advanced basic due to scheduling conflicts and the same conflict remains today. My plan is to repeat basic with Rem, work hard at home and jump into novice when the next round of classes start up.
And some news I've had a hard time dealing with, let alone put into words... As some of you reading this may know, my kennel suffered a devastating loss October 28th with the loss of my girl Lexi. It was a huge personal blow and the past couple months have been an incredibly rough ride. Lexi was somewhat of an incorrigible "puppy" but matured into a dream "dog" whom I adored and loved deeply. When I decided to return to the breed, Lex was my first. She was my "everything" dog. She, early on as a young pup, was the one who reminded me the reasons I so love the breed. She was my bed dog, my farm dog and my reader of the mind dog. Lexi was my solid as a rock dog and it was heart wrenching to watch her energy and spirit fade in front of me and know there was nothing I could do. There was a trial of fluids to flush her system and her Vet who upon first seeing her said, "I wouldn't give up without trying". But while she continued on with her job that couldn't wait, I think the realization hit her. A realization I knew well in advance, simply by watching Lex throughout the course of the afternoon. Since my loss, I've found it very difficult to visit my website. And out of respect for Lexi, I'm feeling guilty for not updating in a timely fashion. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about the unfinished business left to do. But where to start....? there is simply so much to do and much of what needs doing will be extremely painful. Each page needs to be looked at and updated where appropriate. I need to remove some entries and rearrange others. The first month, when I'd think of writing a memorial or tribute, I literally couldn't see through the tears nor could I speak of Lex without sobbing. I've got a couple months of healing behind me now, have gained back some strength and I think I'm nearly ready to write her tribute and face the task, way earlier than I ever expected, of creating a memorial page. In gaining the ability to believe I can tackle these things, I feel like I'm finally entering the healing phase. While I work on things, Lexi's page may be hidden for a time but it will be here... always. GMBD's began with Lexi and Lex will forever be a part of it. More importantly, she will always hold a very special spot in my heart.
4 Comments
Kelsi
12/18/2015 09:56:53 pm
Lexi, although I did not get the opportunity to meet you in person, or raise a beautiful pup you had birthed, I feel connected to you through your momma Deb. You were a beautiful and as I am told a sweet snuggler who was the pride and joy of the GMBD family household. I was in tears when notified of your passing and I can only hope you are becoming friends with my Dolce as well as other wonderful canine companions. Hugs to you sweet sweet girl, there is a sparkling star twinkling in the night above your home here on Earth.
Reply
Deb
12/29/2015 11:14:51 am
Thank you Kelsi for the kind words. While I read them when first posted, I'm afraid I wasn't quite able to respond. Today marks two months since I first woke without my girl by my side. Healing is a process and one that continues. I did a little work on a memorial page today but having never had to create one, fortunately, Im not sure how I want to proceed. The first steps have been taken and sometimes that's all that's needed. I'll let them settle and see where my mind takes me. I miss Lexi... everyday... but the rest of the gang has and will continue to help pull me through. Each has their own personality... quirks and charms. I love each individually and I think equally but yes, I had a special bond with Lex.
Reply
12/29/2015 09:28:27 am
So glad to see you blogging again Debi. We have been thinking about you. We are having a blast with Penny! And nothing but tons of compliments on what a beautiful and personable puppy we have.
Reply
Deb
12/29/2015 11:22:53 am
I've been thinking about you guys Linda. Have been meaning to send you an e-mail. I need pictures!!! :-) So happy to hear things are going well with Penny. She was a pretty little thing... not surprised to hear you're receiving compliments. I've received several photos of her siblings and have posted some to my Facebook page but need to get them loaded here too. It was and continues to be a pretty amazing litter. I enjoyed a two week vacation just proceeding Christmas and have been having a great time with my own dogs... a few outings for some and back to school with others. Seems it's were I'm happiest. Glad you're keeping an eye on the blog! Keep in touch!
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
February 2019
|